Understanding the three C’s of addiction recovery is an important part of healing for those who have family members or friends with substance use disorders.
The Three C’s of Addiction Recovery
- You didn’t cause it
- You can’t cure it
- You can’t control it
These foundational principles help loved ones release the burden of guilt and responsibility that often accompanies watching someone struggle with addiction. Many family members blame themselves, believing they could have prevented the addiction or should have recognized the warning signs earlier. The three C’s provide a framework for understanding that addiction is a complex disease influenced by genetic, environmental, and neurobiological factors beyond any single person’s control.
What You Can’t Do
#1 Make them quit. Recovery must be a personal choice. While external consequences may motivate someone to seek help, lasting recovery comes from internal commitment.
#2 Do the work of recovery for them. Each person must navigate their own journey through treatment, develop their own coping strategies, and build their own support network.
#3 Accept behavior that violates your boundaries. Supporting someone doesn’t mean tolerating harmful, manipulative, or abusive behavior.
What You Can Do
#1 Get educated. Learn about addiction as a disease, understand treatment options, and recognize that knowledge empowers you to provide meaningful support without enabling.
#2 Take care of yourself. Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential. Attend support groups like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon, see a therapist, and maintain your own physical and emotional health.
#3 Talk about it. Breaking the silence around addiction reduces stigma and connects you with others who understand your experience.
Finding Balance Between Support and Enabling
One of the most challenging aspects of loving someone with addiction is determining where support ends and enabling begins. Setting healthy boundaries protects both you and your loved one, creating space for them to experience natural consequences while knowing you still care.
Meghan Vivo wrote a great article on this in 2015 that really helps identify each of these items in much more detail. The items can be found here “https://www.promises.com/articles/addiction-recovery/3-things-you-can-and-cant-do-to-help-an-addicted-loved-one/“
Click here for important information about families in addiction recovery. If you’re looking to learn more about addiction treatment, we’ve got an extensive post on which treatment is best for drug addiction. It’s also incredibly common for recovery addicts to relapse. You can learn more about why people relapse here.